how to avoid marrying a jerk(ette)?
ok, as i promised, let me try to write what the talk says…
anyway, there’s a book on this. check it out!
How do you know if he is a jerk?
we all have flaws. we all act like a jerk at some point in time. are we jerks?
a jerk is someone who… is a very difficult partner, and persistently refuse to change. clues:
- too self-centered, selfish, attention seeking
- lack of emotional control or no emotion at all
- does not apologise, does not resolve conflict, does not communicate, does not open up
- lies, cheats, abusive, or too dependent on you
- pessimistic, possessive
- obsessive compulsive behavior
How should we progress to have a healthy relationship?
1. Know the person well - this come about with talk + togetherness + time
2. Only then you trust him
3. Only then you can rely on him
4. Only then you should commit
2. Only then you trust him
3. Only then you can rely on him
4. Only then you should commit
5. Only then you move to "touch" (by this the author means sex)
The "SAFE ZONE" for relationships: never allow one level to exceed the previous.
Explore your compatibility!
in intelligence, emotional styles, energy levels, chemistry, openness and expression of affection, sense of humor, values, work, interests… and more….
there’s actually much more covered in the talk. but i’m kinda lazy to write it here… heee….
don’t ask me anything about this. i’m no expert… if i am, i would have been happily married =P
anyway, it’s rather useful if you think of it with a clear head. unfortunately, when you are in the relationship, your head is kinda full of "what they call it love"
